DAY ONE
This piece is directed towards those who are in early to
late teens.
Everyone knows who he is. The way he carries himself, every step he takes is careful and smooth. His steps look slow, even though he is moving at a quick pace. From the looks of it, he is very confident- with his smile, his nature, even his sometimes not-so-funny jokes. Even when he almost trips over the desk, you cant help but smile at his flushed cheeks- sometimes embarrassment is not quite embarrassment. It's like he doesn't have anything that isn't going well for him. A crooked smile takes over his face when his friend cracks a joke. With his medium toned hair, and his pure honey brown eyes, there is just something about him that makes you smile, or maybe it's the fact that he is just the class clown. Something that I don't even know exactly what is is. What he has just is, and it's something that many may not know about.
What he wears, It's just like everyone else-- a shirt crested with the school emblem, and khaki pants that he can even make look good. A silver chain hangs around his neck, brightening up his own facial features- It's strange, but I don't have a clue how he does it- It makes it look natural for him. He carries himself with a strong psychical presence, which makes him look very over-confident. Sometimes he even comes off as a bit more arrogant that he really is-- which is something that I am not sure that gives him off as better or worse than he really his. It's always been known that he's a really nice guy, and I can argue that that is indeed true. When he speaks, hell, sentences of sarcasm flows out of his cherry lips.
Sometimes sarcasm is the best medicine.
He's very relaxed, and you can tell that it influences those who happen to be around him. We know that even if there is something that is going on in his life that even he can't control- he certainly does not show it. When the day is over, he just leaves. You can't help but want to know what is really going on in his head.


This gave me a really great visualization of the person in question. I like how you were able to make him a bit of an everyman - I can imagine any reader being able to think of someone like this guy that they know.
ReplyDeleteJust a couple things: you misspelled "arrogant", and it probably would be better to do this in third person, rather than in first.
A very detailed portrayal! Nicely done! :)
ReplyDeleteAwkward syntax: "What he wears, It's jusy like everyone..."
Well done Jill. It's almost as if i already know this man. And i agree that sometimes sarcasm is the best meddicine.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!!
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ReplyDeleteA very detailed character. I could completly picture him in my head and almost see his crooked smile. =)
ReplyDelete"Something that I don't even know exactly what is is." be careful with the typos.